"Risk-taking, trust, and serendipity are key ingredients of joy. Without risk, nothing new ever happens. Without trust, fear creeps in. Without serendipity, there are no surprises."
-- Rita Golden Gelman, Author of Tales of a Female Nomad. She has had no permanent address since 1986.
When I was 47 and facing divorce, I asked myself, “What are you going to do with the rest of your life?” The answer was that I was going to live my dream: own nothing and travel around the world, living in other cultures and interacting with the people. I had published many children’s books, and I knew I could earn enough on the road to pay my expenses. I sold or gave away everything I owned, house, car, clothes, books … really everything! I packed a backpack and took off. It’s been 18 years and I’m still happily homeless. I write about my life in my book, Tales of a Female Nomad.
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Most of my family – friends too – thought I would get it out of my system. But the more I saw and experienced, the more I wanted. My kids had mixed feelings. They wanted me around, but at the same time, they knew I was doing something that made me happy. |
I was scared when I started; I had never done anything alone in my life. But it didn’t take long to discover the excitement and joy of being liberated from possessions, a husband, schedules, daily life and chores.
Over the years I’ve grown more confident. I’ve learned to trust my instincts. I’ve learned how to listen to the voices inside me rather than the ones outside. I’ve learned how to talk to strangers, to be more open and trusting.
I’ve also developed spiritually. After spending eight years in Bali, I have come to believe that there is a spirit in each of us and that we live in two worlds simultaneously, the one we can see and the one we cannot see
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If you always know where you’re going and what you’re going to do, you don’t leave any room for the unexpected. To live serendipitously means that you take paths that just happen to appear, accept invitations that pop up out of nowhere, follow people down unknown roads, and kind of flow with your mood and the circumstances.
The first time I went to Bali, I met a Balinese doctor on the airplane. He asked me where I was planning to stay. I told him Ubud, the village that the guidebooks said was the center of dance and music and art. “Oh, no,” he said. “That’s much too touristy for you.” Then he wrote some words on a piece of paper. “Go here. It’s a friend of mine.”
When I got into a cab at the airport, I handed the piece of paper to the driver and we drove for an hour and a half. When we finally stopped, I entered a garden through an arched entrance. It turned out to be a royal palace; the doctor’s friend was a prince. I lived there for four years. I write a lot about my life in the palace in Tales of a Female Nomad. |
It’s not as rootless as it sounds. I often stay many months, even years in one place. And I rarely stay in hotels. I live with families, rent houses, seek out interesting villages. I try to stay long enough to become a part of a community.
I’ve learned how to settle in and feel comfortable and at home just about anywhere. I cook with the women in the kitchen, participate in their ceremonies, play with the kids. I try to learn their crafts and dances and songs.
I eat just about any food I’m offered – offering food is a way of offering friendship. I’ve eaten dragonflies, bee larva, grasshoppers and assorted bugs. The one thing I refused was a wriggling grub. I would have eaten it if it had been cooked.
I don’t try to tell people how to do things and I never suggest that my way is better. I’m there to learn from them. They are the teachers and I am the student. I make mistakes and we all laugh, and they see that I’m really not that different from them. How can it “grow old” when every day is a new adventure?
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Currently I’m in Atlanta spending time with my 15-month-old grandson, Cris. He was adopted in Guatemala and his parents are bringing him up bilingually. We’re all going to Mexico for a month this summer so he can be surrounded by the Spanish language. I’ll also be visiting my daughter in Seattle, and I’d like to spend some time in Canada in the fall.
In 2006 I’m hoping to visit Africa. There is a program in which five international schools in five different countries share the expenses of a children’s book author to come and talk to the kids about writing and books. I have written more than 70 books for kids so I have applied for the job. I was a guest author at the American Embassy School in New Delhi, India a couple of years ago and it was a wonderful experience. I’m hoping they want me. I want very much to visit Africa. It will be my first time.
For more about Rita, Tales of a Female Nomad, and a list of her children’s books, check her website, www.ritagoldengelman.com. |
Please note: The opinions put forth by contributors to “The Way I See It” do not necessarily reflect the views of Starbucks. We welcome your response to Mr. benShea's comments. |
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